The Best... you already are

Continuing with the theme from Friday's post about what it truly means to be "the Best" (vs. what our culture has constructed as 'best').

It has been noted by psychologists that very bright and talented children often have very high levels of anxiety and low self-esteem. Why should this be so, when they are obviously talented, often more so than their peers?? It turns out that the reason is because these special traits and talents are so focused on by the adults in their lives, that these children feel that not knowing something or just being ordinary at something is a failure in some way. Subconsciously, those proud and loving parents are sending their child the message that they will be unlovable if they are not perfect. They must always be The Best in their parents' (and teachers', etc.) eyes.

Even if we were not one of those few talented children who could memorize pi to 40 digits or some other amazing feat, we have all felt that fear of, or actual rejection by, a parent or other authority figure for failing to live up to expectations. As small people, we were taught that we were being "prepared for life", and if we did not learn the lessons well enough, we would ultimately fail at life (or some other such threat, spoken or implied). But guess what? As children, as small people, we were not preparing for life. We were living life. And, along with the wonderment, we learned some harsh lessons along the way. As we grew up, we wondered: how can I be successful? How can I make my parents happy? How can I make myself happy? How can I be good enough?

Well, the answer, happily, is that you already are good enough, and you always have been. Your parents' pressure on you as a child, intentional or not, has no bearing on you or your inherent 'goodness'. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and therefore don't need to be perfect at anything! That's one of the big pros about living in a society where you know and are connected to your neighbors and/or other community. So put your talents to use, whatever they are, and graciously accept the help of others when you need to. This has no bearing on your status; your self-esteem - you are already, in the words of the Tejobindu Upanishad, your "Shining Self".

[...trying to find a link to the Upanishad for you, but no luck! Anyhow, the opening lines are:

Let us meditate on the Shining Self

Changeless, underlying the world of change

And realized in the heart in Samadhi.]